The Best Kind

Watching a pixie-haired Dakota Fanning slowly die of leukemia in Now Is Good, I realized how I'm inclined to like books and movies that feature hopeless romances, dysfunctional lovers, and death. For some weird reason, I find beauty in pain and lacrimation. I've watched Celine and Jesse spend a perfect day together, knowing they will have to part in the end. I've read about A and Rhiannon's painfully unconventional love story that does not end as planned. And to be perfectly honest, the only books by John Green that I've truly enjoyed are the ones where one of the protagonists die. I don't know what to make of this realization, but I bet there's more to it than just my sick obsession for emotional turmoil.

After giving it some thought, I've come to conclude that my affinity for their unfortunate circumstance might be due to the fact that they feel more "real" than others. As Augustus Waters would put it, life is not a wish-granting factory. In real life, nobody has it easy, and everyone ends up dead. This explains why even as much as I love fairy tales, I find some books and movies with happy endings to be off-putting. When the pretty white girl conveniently gets her way and lives happily ever after with the unbelievably hot guy, I find myself rolling my eyes. I prefer watching a perfect match not end up with each other, or a clever young girl fall for an emotionally disturbed fella. Something about their hopelessness is just so beautiful. I don't know what that says about me, but I do think that the best stories are the ones that hurt. The ones that cause you pain because you know there was something so beautiful that didn't last—not because they didn't want to, but because it just wasn't meant to.

“My dear," Rose said, "you might be surprised at how much happiness you can find in the pages of the shortest love stories."

- Before Ever After, Samantha Sotto

Franstar Takes On The World (Part 1)

Finally, some free time to catch up on some blogging! This one right here's long overdue, and has been sitting in my Drafts since the day I got back. (I'm a pro at procrastinating). Still, allow me to share the tale of my 2-month old adventure.

For the benefit of the uninformed, I recently went on my very first international adventure. Destination? Bangkok, Thailand.

Our adventure began on the last Friday of October. After having my flight delayed for 2 hours, I met up with my friend Sean at Suvarnabhumi airport. He had a good head start with our Bangkok adventure as he arrived about 20 hours earlier. When we met at Starbucks, he had already explored a little of the city, went to two Fitness First branches to work out, and sampled the world famous Thai street food! I had some catching up to do and I couldn't wait. As we made our way to our friend and host Mar's place, we were astounded by the vastness of the city. It was definitely not what I had expected. The scenes from movies I've seen didn't do justice in showcasing how modern and progressive the city really is.

When we reached our stop, we found ourselves in awe of the Bangkok high life. Luxurious malls and expensive hotels lined the street, and the people were dressed quite fashionably. With high-end boutiques such as Gucci and Alexander McQueen, it's easy to see why most locals consider Chit Lom to be an "expensive place", and even easier for my Captain America shirt to feel out of place.

Waiting for the train to Chit Lom.

After getting a little lost, we finally reached Mar's place 2 hours and 30 minutes later than originally planned. It didn't matter though, because the moment we stepped in his room, the crazy weekend had then begun. On our first night, we had dinner and beer in a quaint little pub called Mokka, took a walk around the city (passing by some bizarre places I dare not mention), and crashed a classy hotel playroom! And like I said, that was just the beginning.

The playroom at Pullman Hotel G.

The next day was dedicated solely for touristy stuff. We started with lunch at Siam Paragon, snatched up some free samples in the supermarket and had dessert in a little cafe called After You, where we tried the famous Shibuya Honey Toast. Let me tell you, that dessert was so unexpectedly good! Vanilla ice cream on toast with whipped cream on the side, drizzled with honey: yum!

After You's Shibuya Honey Toast.

After dessert, the boys and I went shopping at H&M before checking out the vintage shops at Siam Square. They say Siam Square is where the cool kids hang out, so naturally we had to go there. Y'know, since we're cool. Haha!

While walking along the area I noticed how different Bangkok's street fashion is. Unlike the Cebuanos' laid-back dress code, the Thais (or at least the ones I've seen) opt for something more...dapper. The trusty shirt-short-and-flip-flops combo may not work for a quick stroll in the mall.

Mar doing the Gangnam Style while trying on clothes at H&M.

The vintage shops at Siam Square.

Keeping it fresh before heading out to see the temples.

After a quick tour of the metro, we then headed out to see the temples which are some of Bangkok's major tourist attractions. However, due to our tight schedule, we decided to visit only two: Wat Pho and Wat Arun. As expected, the temples were packed with tourists! At Wat Pho, everywhere you look, you're bound to see someone taking snapshots of the place. With roofs adorned with golden accents and towering structures with intricate details, it's hard not to!

Wat Pho's official name is Wat Phra Chettuphon Wimon Mangkhlaram Ratchaworamahawihan. Quite a mouthful isn't it?

Did I mention that I got to see the Reclining Buddha?

Official name? Wat Arun Ratchawararam Ratchawaramahawihan. Yeah, I'm sticking with just Wat Arun.

Compared with Wat Pho, Wat Arun seemed a bit quieter. Set in the Chao Phraya riverfront, it reminded me so much of the temples in Mortal Kombat. A friendly warning though, the central prang is not for the weak at heart. The steep climb to the top can make you feel a little acrophobic. The view up there, however, makes the climb all worth it.

After the solemnity of temples came the Hangover experience. Although the view from Wat Arun was spectacular, we wanted more. And by more, we meant a beautiful sunset at a world-class rooftop bar where we can see the city and the river at such an incredible height. So where else did we go? The Skybar at Lebua State Tower. The very same place where they shot The Hangover II's helicopter scene. Man, the view up there is just breathtaking! Sure, the drinks were insanely overpriced, and one of the waitresses wasn't very friendly, but the view and the place itself surely made up for it.

A photo of the magnificent view at the Skybar by Mar.

After the pre-dinner drinks at the Skybar, we made our way back to Chao Phraya for our next stop. Asiatique is a riverfront festival night market filled with tourists and locals alike. It has about a thousand shops that are filled with really cool stuff like vintage cameras, handcrafted leather iPhone cases, and trendy clothes. It even has its own Apple store! The restaurants had the swankiest interiors, and the strategically-placed industrial displays added charm to the open-air mall.

Having spent more than expected at the Skybar, we ditched the classy restaurants and opted for a more budget-friendly option. One thing you need to know about the food courts in Bangkok is that they're almost always good and cheap. I can't remember what I got and how much I paid for it, but I'm sure I got more than what I paid for.

Asiatique: The Riverfront.

In one of the many shops at Asiatique.

Tired from the day's adventure, I was ready to go home, but we weren't done just yet. We had one more stop before heading home: Khao San Road. The backpacker's haven where we originally planned on staying. It definitely was one of the highlights of my Bangkok adventure and I could pretty much sum it up in Sean's favorite phrase: personal growth. There we partied hard, met a few people, and got drunk (which was definitely a first for me). I admit to letting loose that night, but I was nowhere near Sean's hardcore partying! It was definitely his night, and he left proof of that on the sidewalk. Haha! The day ended with us dead-tired and longing for the comfort of a nice warm bed.

The famous Khao San Road.

Waking up late after the previous night's frenzy, I shook off the remainder of a hangover to accommodate the excitement I felt for what was about to ensue. SHOPPING. We originally planned a 2-hour shopping trip at the Jatujak weekend market, but who were we kidding? 2 hours of shopping at the shopper's mecca? Ha! We ended up spending the entire afternoon walking around Jatujak looking for great buys. I went a little overboard with the shopping that I wasn't able to bring home tacky souvenirs for family and friends. But I can't not buy stuff for myself! I mean it's not everyday that I'm in Jatujak, right?

Jatujak Weekend Market.

Tired from all the walking, we decided to end the day early. After all, Mar had to work the next day, and we were running a little low on cash. After having dinner at the classiest food court I've ever been to, we went back to Mar's place, watched Walking Dead, and then said our good-nights.

With Mar having to work the next day, Sean and I were left to explore the city on our own. We headed to a mall called Terminal 21 where Sean suggested that we part ways for a few hours. He ended up meeting a friend and ditching me, and I ended up alone in a foreign city. And it was awesome! You know how you sometimes wish you could go somewhere where no one knows you? Well, that happened to me, and I loved it! It was definitely a liberating experience.

Sampling the world-famous Thai street food.

Bound to leave early the next day, Mar, Sean, and I decided that we had to have a farewell dessert. Since I've never tried Thailand's famous Mango Sticky Rice, Mar thought it'd only be appropriate that I try it before I head home. It was past 10 and most shops were already closed when we went out to find a place that served the said dessert. Unlike the puto maya back home that we also eat with mangoes and pair with sikwate (or tsokolate), this Thai dessert is served with coconut cream to drizzle all over it. It wasn't exactly foreign to me, but I then understood why tourists were crazy about it!

All Six to Twelve's Mango Sticky Rice.

Bangkok, early morning.

At dawn of October 30th, Sean and I started our journey back home. Leaving Bangkok was hard as we both fell in love with the city and the experiences we've had on our short stay. We wanted to stay a little longer, but it was just out of the question. Well, for now at least.

They say it's hard forget your first trip outside your home country, and with the help of two friends from high school, I don't think I'll ever forget mine. I went to Bangkok with little expectations and high hopes, and came back home with a few pictures and tons of unforgettable experiences. Thanks to Mar, we had a lovely place to stay and a kick-ass tour guide. If not for the itinerary he came up with out of sheer goodness, Sean and I wouldn't have been able to maximize our trip. We probably could've ended up lost too! Or not. After all, it's hard to get lost if you don't really know where you're going. ;)

Happy Birthday, Me

Every day we wake up, we wake up a day older. That doesn't necessarily mean we wake up any wiser, but we strive.

Today marks the 24th year of my existence, and I feel like a totally different person. Gone is the boy who's helpless without a companion. The past year has taught me lessons that I didn't want to learn, and I ended up giving myself the best gift I could ever give: the gift of independence. Don't get me wrong though, I still need to have people around me to truly thrive. That's just who I am. However, I'm beginning to appreciate the joys of being on my own. I'm beginning to learn that I don't need to have a companion to enjoy some of the things that life has to offer. Company is good, but not always necessary.

Movie for one. A small step for most, a big one for me.

I've also learned not to put up with things I cannot stand, may it be people, objects, or situations. I cannot keep compromising myself for the benefit of others. I have a duty to myself, and that is to keep myself sane and free from things that weigh me down. And seeing as I have no room for negativity at this point in my life, I have resolved to be indifferent of these things. Disliking takes too much effort. :)

I thank God for another year and another chance to find myself, but mostly I thank Him for everything that's happened. I thank Him for the gift of friends both old and new, and for family that's ever growing. I thank God for giving me the chance to grow and broaden my horizons, as well as the chance to know myself a little better. One more year may have been added to my life, but really, it makes no difference. After all, years will always pale in comparison with maturity.

Pass the Toast!

Having breakfast while watching clips of classics could very well be my new favorite thing. Old films and coffee somehow go together very well. :)

“You know what’s wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You’re chicken, you’ve got no guts. You’re afraid to stick out your chin and say, “Okay, life’s a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that’s the only chance anybody’s got for real happiness.” You call yourself a free spirit, a “wild thing,” and you’re terrified somebody’s gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you’re already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it’s not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It’s wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself.”

Rediscovering

After yesterday's rediscovering, I tried to look for more of my old writings to know the kind of person I was then and see how much I've grown. I was never much of a factual writer, as I was drenched in all things fiction. All my writings tended to be of ideal scenarios that have never and may never come to life. A lot of these things end up forgotten in one of my notebooks or in another blog, and I don't know why I never got around to sharing it on here. Maybe I was just being lazy. Or maybe I was waiting for the right time? I don't know.

Photo taken from  http://weheartit.com/entry/8399554

Inspired from the photo above, I wrote this on the 31st of March 2011:

I wish we could just lie here and read each other’s minds and hear each other’s hearts. No need for silly conversations and acting all cool on the outside. We’d have each other’s raw thoughts and feelings to assure us of this moment, of this time together. In this moment, we are not two bodies in search of convergence, but one soul living with burning passion.

The first few minutes after reading it, I wasn't quite sure if it was really something I've written. I tried to look it up on Google to make sure, but I couldn't find a match. The first three sentences felt like mine, but the last one was somehow foreign to me. Did I write this half asleep? Maybe. It took me a while to remember (or confabulate) that it is indeed one of my work. I then felt like maybe I could end up writing a cliche of a young adult novel. (insert eye rolls here)

On one of my short story writing binges, I came up with a snippet that I intended to expand when I had the time. I never got around to doing it, and now I don't think I ever will. It's a dead end. Reading it again makes me cringe a little on the inside, but I think it's worth sharing before it's completely forgotten.

A Mistake I’m Willing To Make

I love you. I know I shouldn’t, but I do. I’m defying all my self-imposed rules, and I don’t even care. You are the first puff of smoke and the last drop of alcohol. You are sinful yet unmistakably delightful. You make my knees of stone wobble like jelly and my putrid heart is renewed like spring’s first blossom.

In the end, I know, you’ll only break my heart and crush my soul, but right now, I don’t give a damn. Make me feel like shit, I don’t care. Just let me love you. For now, for this very moment, let me embrace this insanity.

Although I still find myself writing bites of fiction every now and then, somehow it's just not the same as the ones I used to write. Themes have changed, the writing voice has changed. I realize that maybe my writing has evolved in some way. It has changed because, well, I myself have changed.

Musings of a Hopeless Romantic

On February 24, 2011, I wrote a little something out of boredom. Rediscovering it was such a delight that I'm sharing it here.

Photo taken from  http://weheartit.com/entry/6289779

This is where we’ll meet: in a library or a bookshop. I come in out of curiosity, you for whatever it is you think is a good reason to come in. We find ourselves in the same aisle, and I'm holding a classic I wish I’ve read. You notice me tearing up as I flip the pages, and you think it’s cute that I be so engrossed to such a little book. You don’t know that it’s actually my allergy acting up. I notice you looking at me and so I smile. You’re caught off guard, yet you manage to smile back. You ask me what book I'm reading and I tell you the title. You tell me your thoughts about me crying over a book, and I tell you about my allergy. We laugh about it and that’s when we finally exchange names. Yes, this is how I want to meet you.

Today and Until Then

Maybe one day I can look back laughing, but not today. Today I will revel in delicious pain that makes me feel alive. I’ll probably end up walking around on autopilot, zoning out on conversations—basically appear like a lifeless robot. But inside me thunder clouds will roar and waves will crash on lifeless shores. Inside this lethargic shell, chaos will reign and I will take pleasure in every bit of ache.