Until Then

I dreamt of you again last night—probably the second time this month, which is weird considering how long it’s been since we last spoke. I was at a buffet table struggling to get some soup when you approached to help. As my bowl was almost filled to the brim, you tipped it over and laughed. My eyes were fixed on the contents of my now-empty bowl that ran all over the table that I hardly noticed you walk away. It’s funny, but that’s exactly what happened between you and me. You filled me with hope before pulling the rug under me, and I am left struggling to get up and pretend like I knew all along how all of it was going to end.

It’s been a while since I last wrote about you, and for a moment there I thought I was done. But I guess I’ll always be writing about you, dreaming about you, until the next heartbreak comes along.

Down by the Sea of Hopeless Dreams

I was swimming in a barren sea with nothing but rocks underneath. I kept moving forward until I found the first sign of life. When I came up for air, I noticed that I’ve reached the other end of the ocean. It was much more bountiful than the side from which I came. Near the shore, surrounded by girls whose faces I can’t remember, was a figure of someone I know so well—you. For a second, our eyes met. You looked at me with blank eyes and a lopsided grin, and I found myself inching a little closer. I tried to stay, but something inside me pulled me back to the desolate waters, and back to the shore that’s almost void of life.

Back on my side of the sea, I was being called home. Standing near the shore, I decided to stay out a little longer, hoping that you’d come for me. I never thought you would, but still I hoped. As I was about to walk away, someone grabbed a hold of my hand and stopped me. The touch was familiar, and I knew then whose hands held mine. You tried to look me in the eye, but my gaze was downcast. I wasn’t even looking at you, but I could feel your lips slowly part. And just when you were about to say something, just when I could almost hear your breath turn into words, I woke up.

Day 10: A dream for the future.

In addition to Day 9, I dream of finding my niche in a job that I identify myself with. :)

Day 9: Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days.

To wish for happiness would be folly, for everyone can be happy if we choose to be. For the next 365 days, I wish not for happiness, but for things, people, and events that will make choosing to be happy much easier.

To hope for love would be ignorant, for love is already within ourselves. For the next 365 days, I hope not for love, but for someone who truly deserves my heart.

To dream of wealth would be foolish, for nothing lasts forever, most especially your possessions. For the next 365 days, I dream not of wealth, but of great health for everyone I hold dear.

To plan for adventure is absurd, for life already is. I plan to enjoy life the best way I know how. I will try new things, make mistakes and learn from them, and see new places. For the next 365 days and beyond, I plan to live.

Day 5: My dream house.

Paris Disneyland (source)